The History of the Household Sponge
by Tidus Johnson
Summary: This is a funny history of the household sponge that includes some of the cast of Spongebob Squarepants. It would've been rated G, but because of the second half which contains some major gore, I had to rate it PG13


This is my first story on Fan Fiction so work with me. Thank you!  
  
Spongebob is walking down the street and all of the sudden a salesman jumps out from behind a rock. Spongebob cries out in surprise, "I am crying out in surprise!"  
  
"I have you now" says the salesman as he is reaching for Spongebob's tie.  
  
"Not my tie! Wait a minute. Aren't salesmen supposed to sell things to people? All you are doing is grabbing at my tie, which happens to be the same tie I had on yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before and the day before..."  
  
"OKAY! I get it. Any who, the reason I jumped out from behind that rock and grabbed your tie is because it is so beautiful. I just had to have it. You see I am not a salesman. I am a tie guy who goes around hiding behind rocks and jumping out at people who have ties on that look interesting and I want to wear it because I have this mental disease that causes me to hide behind rocks and jump out at people who have ties on that look interesting and I want to wear them. Do you follow?"  
  
"Um.... no. You want to go to The Krusty Krab?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
So Spongebob and "The Salesman" walk to The Krusty Krab. They then arrive. They walk up to the door. Spongebob goes to push it open, but to no prevail. Then the salesman spoke, "It says pull on the door"  
  
"Oh. Thanks"  
  
They walk in. All of the sudden Mr. Krabs runs to them. "Customers! Welcome to The Krusty Krab! GIVE ME MONEY!" he says.  
  
"Mr. Krabs, have you been taking your medicine?" Spongebob asks.  
  
"I feel as though I am not obligated to answer that question" he replies and walks away.  
  
Then the two of them go to the cashier, Squidward.  
  
"Hiya Squidward! Me and the salesman" Spongebob says while winking his right eye, "want a Krabby Patty."  
  
"Mmmmm. I Love Crab Meat!" says the salesman.  
  
All of the sudden Mr. Krabs comes out of his office with a shotgun and starts shooting at the salesman.  
  
"YOU MURDERER! YOU ARE A MONSTER! SPONGEBOB GET AWAY FROM HIM OR HE WILL EAT YOUR PEOPLE TOO!" he screamed.  
  
Then he lifted his arm and made a fist in the air, "Power to the people"  
  
"Yeah!" replied Spongebob.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed the salesperson.  
  
Then in a split minute, Spongebob leapt at Mr. Krabs, chopping his head off with a Kung Fu move he saw on a Jackie Clam show. Next, he proceeded to run to the kitchen and grab a knife. With that knife he chopped the salesman's arm off. (The whole time the salesman is screaming in a freakishly high-pitched voice) Spongebob then starts to beat the salesman with his own arm. He had to smack him five or six times to knock him out. Then finally, Spongebob runs over to Squidward, who has been sleeping this whole time, and slips in Squidward's puddle of drool. After that, he gets up and ties each of Squidward's tentacles together.  
  
"I am Spongebob! Hear me roar!" he shouts.  
  
Then he walks over to a costumer who had been eating and paying no attention the action taking place but only a few feet away.  
  
"Hello Costumer!" Spongebob says.  
  
"Well hello, Spongebob" he replies.  
  
"DIE!" Spongebob screams taking the customer's spork, a combination of a fork and spoon used in many school cafeterias, and stabbing him multiple times in his abdominal region.  
  
Then he kicked him in the crotch.  
  
"Take that!"  
  
For the next few days Spongebob continued his killing spree. Only until three days after the attack at The Krusty Krab did Spongebob come back to his senses. But, the remaining citizens of Bikini Bottoms prosecuted Spongebob for all he is worth. At the end of the trial the judge decided to make Spongebob's punishment the worst possible. So she ordered that he be sent up to the land and be used by humans as a kitchen cleaning device. And that is the story of how the household sponge came to be. 


End file.
